Crashing and burning.

At least my writing skills are up to scratch, because I'm fairly certain that's the only aspect of the interview I've just returned from that was a success. I've bought a custard crown to console myself, I've never had a worse interview. I already know the response/lack of.
"Ruth is a nice girl, who will be a great success in her life, but she's just not what we're looking for." The interview was through a customer at my mum's restaurant, it's so embarrassing.
It's fairly obvious why in terms of this role (a costs administrator), but it really is the story of my life for the last four months. I was told in this interview that were I to be going for a photography role, I would get it because my experience is awesome, I felt like blurting out, 'WELL THAT ISN'T THE CASE IS IT?!', but I wish it was...

The thing is, I am looking forward to being a picture desk intern, I really am, I can't think of any job that I have applied for that's come up that I've wanted more and I'm so happy I seem to have got it. However, the fact of the matter is, I need to sustain myself financially too and working for expenses isn't going to cut it forever. I'm seriously banking on this being a whirlwind and worthwhile experience.

"Over-qualified photographer and all-round nice girl seeks run-of-the-mill job to buy Christmas presents for family and justify buying an iPad."

My last attempt at freelancing is placing my new (and sexy) business cards on Supermarket noticeboards. I need to go to a networking event, I'm definitely over being intimidated.

634.

Last week I felt really motivated and I was posting a lot and taking a lot of photos, this week, I just feel kind of flat. It's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain the get-up-and-go required to sustain a job hunt of this length.

I understand the need to possibly settle for less than I want but I also wonder how bad of me it is to not want to settle. I have begun to wonder what those who are perhaps following my ongoing job hunt think of me, Boots won't even call me back. I haven't even been able to get any freelance work, but I have tried less and less as time has gone on. I don't even know where the time has gone and despite my summer travels, everything just feels like one massive, rude reality check.

I don't know how difficult it is for companies to simply respond to emails with a 'we got this' confirmation, a real one, just so you know that you're actually getting through to someone. I may have applied to my dream job this week, but they won't even answer the phone to confirm. I'm much better on the phone than I am in emails.

I just want a break and I want to be happy.

I promise I'll stop being 15 soon and post something nice.