More clothes: project progression.

Here are my favourites from yesterday before my light started threatening to kill itself.

© Ruth Johnston 2011.

So as you can see the velvet is definitely working better, although I'll admit to a bit of cheeky editing, but a very minimal amount. I really love the lighting and I think the eeriness is coming through. I was particularly pleased when visiting speaker and ex-student, Tim Bowditch said they reminded him of Danny Treacy's 'Them', which I suppose is ultimately similar to what I want to achieve.

I prefer these to the previous ones - except perhaps the boobtube - because they are a lot cleaner, but I'm going to have to take out a light from uni and work with that. However, Elemental are getting UPS to pick up the broken light tomorrow, so all my complaining wasn't for nothing. I will be writing long and stern emails to every company I look upon ill-favourably from now on.

Latest shoot.

So I spent a couple of hours this afternoon colour co-ordinating my wardobe, I'm not sure why but I kind of think it reflects the kind of person I would really like to be at the same time. It's just a shame that I'm not and I'm still living in a student house. Things will be different when I have my own house, so I did the best I could with that idea. I think I'm going to stop shooting and thinking about shooting anything until Wednesday, so I can get some real research under my belt and I can figure out what I'm doing.
The weekend was a nice break and I thought I could come back to it a fresh but I'm more panicked and stressed out than ever. I feel like my technical ability is really letting me down and I'm back to AS Level, which is ridiculous because I haven't got to 2:1 3rd year without being fairly competent.
I'm probably just crazy-nervous about finishing and it all being over.





Maybe I need to severely Photoshop them to make them interesting or something, I don't know, I'm not sure that I really like anything that I'm even imagining right now. Forced creativity is so balls.
As well as those photos I also experimented with some different lighting and took a few self-portraits, I quite like some of them even if my skin is a bit rough. I particularly like the yellow-red-blue one, it kind ofmakes me look like an owl.

© Ruth Johnston 2011.

I think reading will definitely help, and getting the hell off Tumblr every now and then. Urgh. I basically need a hell of a lot of advice, and I'm too scared to show my work in front of everyone tomorrow because I'm an idiot.
Oh and here are two Polaroids I took, I'm really trying to channel something extraordinary and struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'm pretty ordinary. Sorry for going a bit emo.

502.

I think this would have worked better if I had kept still.

© Ruth Johnston 2011.

Green.

I was going to do something with this but I haven't decided yet, so it can go here for the moment. I took it because my hair looked a bit weird. That's basically as far as got when it came to thinking about it. I'll probably come back to it when I haven't got work coming out of my ears. I took it with my new tripod, it's not doing a bad job for £11.97 from Asda.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I've got to start thinking.

How exactly do I feel about being half-Chinese, I've asked so many people now and have had so many different answers to think about, I'm not sure where I should start. I feel completely different to how I did when I started the project.

© Ruth Johnston 2010

I guess you could say I'm happy to be half-Chinese and to have something different about me, but I remember being very unhappy about it too. It can get annoying when people ask, "where are you from?", when I already know that what they really mean is, "where are your parents from?". When I say that my mum is Chinese, which is all they really want to know, I am then asked whether I can speak it, when I say, "No, but I can understand quite a lot", I'm met with a disappointed "oh", as though I'm the only person in the world who never learnt Chinese! I have been picked on, and even singled out by people in the street because of the way I look, but there's nothing I can do about it, and considering it's been this way since I can remember, all I can do is be used to it. I began this project as a way to find common ground and meet other half-Chinese people. I wanted to see if there were others who felt like me, although there have been some differing opinions, I think there is an amount of pride over our moderate exoticism.

I am happy to have never had a problem fitting in with my family like some of my other subjects, although I am closer to my Irish/English side, I think this is due to seeing them more often from a young age rather than exclusion from my Chinese side. It can get frustrating when attending Chinese family functions where my English-speaking cousins speak Chinese to each other and that aspect does feel like I'm being excluded, but maybe I should make more effort to talk to them generally anyway. Before moving away to University I always assumed my mum was strict with me due to her 'traditional values' but have since discovered that nearly all mothers are like her in the sense of nagging and worrying, and we're much closer now, even if the language barrier can get in the way of our relationship sometimes - we have had huge fights based on lack of understanding.

Due to the fact that this is how I am and how I will always be, it is quite clear that there are going to be mild irritations as there would be if I were a 'single-raced' or other 'mixed race' person. Although there are certain things that happen because I am half-Chinese, I now know to use them to learn rather than become resentful. I am definitely more comfortable with talking about it now than I was when I was younger and had less of an understanding.

Her and Me.

So, I did end up doing the shoot with my sister while she was round.
We completely forgot to do the written statement and record it though, so that was annoying but it's only a small gap in my RDB and the rest of it is up to date.
I got her to take my photo, just to add something to the project, but I might reshoot again as I'm not too sure I really like my outfit. These are the unedited images because I'm focussing on my dissertation this week as I've completely neglected it and I think the half-Chinese project can be stood to be left alone for a bit, if not anything else, so I don't get bored and complacent with it.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I'm happy enough with the lighting but obviously, the background needs some dodging.

Oh, hello.

I've spent the latter half of this morning editing photos from the last three days worth of shoots and watching Genius of Photography. I think Genius of Photography has confirmed my preference to contemporary photography over classic photography - I've just finished episode three in which they covered Robert Capa and the like - I did try quite hard but I'm really not interested. I'm waiting for it to get to Martin Parr and Larry Clark, but I'm learning all the same.

So, excuse the absence but that amount of shoots for this project in quick succession makes me all the more reluctant to edit and round up what I've been doing, but, there's RDB work to be done before my sister comes down to visit for a few days on Wednesday. I'm hoping to fit some kind of dissertation work in there beforehand too as Halloween is coming up and no doubt that will throw me out of my work cycle a bit.

Here it goes anyway.
This is Rishi Ghosh, he's a 24 year-old actor from Portsmouth, he's half-Chinese, half-Indian. He's much happier with being half-Chinese than he was when he was younger as he has found that it has meant he has been able to play a variety of different ethic roles, including Mexican and Maori. He has just wrapped on the new Johnny English film, in which he plays a Chinese monk, which is why he came to the shoot with such short hair.

The shoot I had on Saturday was with another complete stranger, his name is Gareth Lewis, he is actually making a documentary on this very same topic. So he used the shoot and talk with me as some research into how he will end up approaching making it. He is eventually going to get round to pitching to Channel 4, Gareth has already had a couple of documentaries commissioned for the Community Channel, they can be found on his Youtube channel, but he actually works for Leasehold services at the moment. I think that his is my favourite portrait so far as he's so different looking, he's actually my oldest subject so far at 31.

And yesterday, I did a shoot with Tai, our mutual contact being Rio. Tai said she often faced bullying in secondary school but rather than the bullying being race-motivated, it was more a tool to back up why they were bullying her and to add insult to injury. She doesn't speak any Chinese but it learning as she is going to see all her Chinese relatives in Hong Kong in March and wants to be able to communicate with them.

I made this too, just to get my head around how many people I have, I'm pretty pleased with myself actually. From knowing only 3 (4 including myself) half-Chinese people and to now have photographed 9, soon to be 10, I'm really surprised. I really think I need to even-up the girls though.

All images, © Ruth Johnston 2010.

Just thought I'd post this to let you, and my future self, know where I'm at and how I'm getting on. I feel like the photography side of this project could be ready to rap up as ten portraits genuinely is a lot. I really, really need to work on my main focal point, I think I've forgotten a little bit.

Martin Usborne makes me love dogs.

Doesn't matter than he is 'big' because he was in the Taylor-Wessing Portrait Prize for a serious person portrait, his photos of dogs are the best.
This is from a series called, "Life as a dog in the recession".

© Martin Usborne

His latest project, "MUTE: the silence of dogs in cars" is at theprintspace gallery from 21st October until 9th November.

© Martin Usborne via theprintspace Blog

Not loving tutorials.

So, I was going to go back to New Malden after Uni today, but I didn't because today was too long and I spent a lot of it on the floor, sat on the floor, like a 4 year-old. Not on, so by the end of the day I wasn't really up for the two-and-a-half hour long journey home.

The tutorial was useful when it finally got round to me though - we started at 11 and I came around at about 4.
I've now tried to correct the colour on the deadpan portraits of Rio and Izzy, thanks to a marvellous observation by a helpful classmate - vom. I'll be fair though and say they do look a bit better now. I was picked up on my Thomas Ruff homage though, which I was a little smug about. I'm sad the colour on my print-outs was mainly to do with my printer rather than my photography. Maybe I should just be a better photographer.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I have a few more subjects lined up and I'm starting to feel like this project actually has some legs. It might be a good idea to get a tripod out and take some portraits of myself, my light meter finally arrived today so that makes it a lot easier and faster as well.

I'm kind of annoyed that I can't spend this weekend doing work because I have a lot to write about and a lot to read, but then I am getting some proper work experience so I can't be too annoyed. It will probably be quite fun and even if my chat doesn't improve, it's a chance to practice my studio photography. Kind of wish I hadn't mentioned having my own lights though, carrying them is at the back of my mind all the time, not that the equipment's heavy, it's just big and a very awkward shape.

#1.

Here's a sneak peak, not sure how much I want to give away on here yet, especially since it's only my first shoot. This is Izzy and Rio who I took photos of on Saturday, I know them so it was a good start but makes me a bit nervous about shooting people I don't know because I can't take them to Gunwharf and have lunch.

But I think the actual shoot went well and these are the two photos that I think fit the original 'deadpan' criteria, we tried out some other stuff; like highlighting things about their appearance that have an altered perspective because they're half-Chinese. Izzy covered up her tattoos when she visited her Chinese dad over the summer and Rio thinks one of her eyes is noticeably uneven with the other.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

If I can do similar things with other subjects it's an idea that I'd like to fit in. I also recorded a conversation we had as well as them saying their written statements out-loud. I'm quite excited now really.

I sent an email to Kip Fulbeck and got a reply from his P.A, she linked me to a webpage that I had already visited, but at least I got a reply. I think I might just leave that.

S'all me, me, me!

I did my makeup a bit differently a couple of days ago, I think it's a nice nighttime look.

Here is a photo of me looking fat and enjoying some gummy teeth, it never ever fails to crack me up.

Moon is down in Devon for a couple of days so I feel like I've not got anything to do, but this time next week I'll be packed and ready to move back down to Portsmouth, so I imagine the first half of next week, even if it will probably be spent without Moon, will be pretty hectic.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

Studio shop.

Those who read my blog will know that the original images are from ages ago, but I thought I'd mess around with them a bit before starting the real work of trawling through the 600-odd photographs I took of Malden Fortnight today. It does serve a purpose as it's a decent image of myself that reflects me and what I do for the 'About Me' on my website.
Stay tuned for my Malden Fortnight photos from today, I think I will do them in sections as there was so much going on, I was out from 10 until half 4. Not that long, but long enough in this heat, it was still fun to be 'the official photographer' though and get asked all sorts of important questions.

© Ruth Johnston, 2010.

The 'interactive' Vanish advert on Photobucket is going to cause me a bit of grief this evening, I can tell.

Day 1; Weekend 1; Malden Fortnight.

My first day went off without a hitch, apart from the spelling mistake on my press pass, I really enjoyed it and it got me quite excited. Here are some of my favourites from today, the rest can already be seen on my website. I'm looking forward to shooting some more next weekend.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I hope there are more opportunities to take photographs of children, it was so much fun this afternoon and it might help with another job that I hope to get in August for a company I found through studentgems.com. They said they would definitely be in touch, but I've learnt you definitely can't take someone's word when they say that.

Tomorrow is O2 Wireless and probably the last opportunity I'll have to see Lily Allen live in a while, if her threats to leave music are true. It makes me a bit sad but I completely understand it, I sure do hope she goes out with a bang and performs with Jay-Z. I really hope I get even more tanned tomorrow.
Currently hating how sticky it is by the way, causes me a lot of "post-Glastonbury stress", even though I was filthy there at least I wasn't sticky, eugh.

0297.

So to kill an hour or so before my mum came down to pick my sister up I took a few photos, I've also had a play with Photoshop...
This photobooth-style image I made is my favourite but I used it in my 365 instead.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

In keeping with the foxy theme, here is a beautifully shot video of a fox catching some mice.