Shanana.

It looks like I have lots of eyes.

These are fake but I think they're working, plus they're not nice and chewy so I'm not biting them. They're in preparation for Halloween.
I read some dissertation stuff today, re-going over the history of Liberia(!)
I'm ready to roll for my tutorial for my other unit tomorrow though.
My sister is coming to Portsmouth and I'm putting her in my project.

I'm so excited to get my Urban Outfitters stuff through the post, I want it to come now! One of the items is velvet, I'm venturing into that trend.

Sorry, bank account.

Well, actually I'm not sorry, I just picked these up from Urban Outfitters for £10, from £80, they're not my favourite colour but it was too good a bargain and they actually had them in my size! I think I might have found the right shoes for my Halloween costume. Unless of course I get buyers remorse/find something better before then and send them back. Plus Dr. Martens take ages and ages to wear in :\
I think UO must have realised the 'too good to be true' offer as they've now been pulled and I can't even find them, unless they were the last pair...

Oh, hello.

I've spent the latter half of this morning editing photos from the last three days worth of shoots and watching Genius of Photography. I think Genius of Photography has confirmed my preference to contemporary photography over classic photography - I've just finished episode three in which they covered Robert Capa and the like - I did try quite hard but I'm really not interested. I'm waiting for it to get to Martin Parr and Larry Clark, but I'm learning all the same.

So, excuse the absence but that amount of shoots for this project in quick succession makes me all the more reluctant to edit and round up what I've been doing, but, there's RDB work to be done before my sister comes down to visit for a few days on Wednesday. I'm hoping to fit some kind of dissertation work in there beforehand too as Halloween is coming up and no doubt that will throw me out of my work cycle a bit.

Here it goes anyway.
This is Rishi Ghosh, he's a 24 year-old actor from Portsmouth, he's half-Chinese, half-Indian. He's much happier with being half-Chinese than he was when he was younger as he has found that it has meant he has been able to play a variety of different ethic roles, including Mexican and Maori. He has just wrapped on the new Johnny English film, in which he plays a Chinese monk, which is why he came to the shoot with such short hair.

The shoot I had on Saturday was with another complete stranger, his name is Gareth Lewis, he is actually making a documentary on this very same topic. So he used the shoot and talk with me as some research into how he will end up approaching making it. He is eventually going to get round to pitching to Channel 4, Gareth has already had a couple of documentaries commissioned for the Community Channel, they can be found on his Youtube channel, but he actually works for Leasehold services at the moment. I think that his is my favourite portrait so far as he's so different looking, he's actually my oldest subject so far at 31.

And yesterday, I did a shoot with Tai, our mutual contact being Rio. Tai said she often faced bullying in secondary school but rather than the bullying being race-motivated, it was more a tool to back up why they were bullying her and to add insult to injury. She doesn't speak any Chinese but it learning as she is going to see all her Chinese relatives in Hong Kong in March and wants to be able to communicate with them.

I made this too, just to get my head around how many people I have, I'm pretty pleased with myself actually. From knowing only 3 (4 including myself) half-Chinese people and to now have photographed 9, soon to be 10, I'm really surprised. I really think I need to even-up the girls though.

All images, © Ruth Johnston 2010.

Just thought I'd post this to let you, and my future self, know where I'm at and how I'm getting on. I feel like the photography side of this project could be ready to rap up as ten portraits genuinely is a lot. I really, really need to work on my main focal point, I think I've forgotten a little bit.

Winna!

So, I'm better at my course than I thought, apparently my idea is progressing very well and I just have to keep going in the direction I'm going. Very big 'phew' moment, as I thought I was majorly behind and completely stuck. This is why tutorials can be good, I feel like I have a bit more of a goal.
I need to start really thinking about what I want to say.
Overall I'm quite happy, I think I can get up to date with myself by the weekend, which is great. Plus there are people who haven't even got a solid idea yet so...

Ship Shape.

So I'm six subjects down the line so far and have 3 lined up this weekend so should have 10 by November. I'm so pleased with what an eclectic group of people I've put together.

So this is James Cen Bonsor, who I shot today, he is 29 and so far the oldest of all my subjects. James is half-Chinese on his mother's side and his father is British. He has quite an interesting view on being half-Chinese and I don't think he feels that it singles him out that much, despite the fact that he lives and works in China - luckily for me his family live in Portsmouth which is why he was able to stop by.

I think he likes being a point of interest or mystery, he even thinks he's more intelligent due to coming from an Oriental background. James brought his girlfriend along to the shoot, she was Chinese and he was speaking fluent Chinese to her, he's probably the most 'Chinese' of my subjects so far. I wish I'd asked him whether he had just always spoken it as he seems to be the only one who does on a regular basis.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

James was the first of my 'strangers', we have no mutual friends, it was a bit awkward, because I'm not sure he knew quite what to expect from me. At least with Jamie and Marcus they knew I was around their age and 'just a photography student'.
I think Gareth, who is coming on Saturday might have a better idea of what I'm about so here's hoping I don't get flustered and forget to ask him questions too. I also have Rishi to shoot before then on Friday, he's half-Chinese, half-Indian, so it will be really interesting to hear what he has to say.

"I just tell people that I'm Chinese..."

"...because it's easier and sometimes they don't believe me anyway."

So these are the photos of Marcus To, that I shot on Friday - he's another one with a crazy backstory in that his Mother is Irish but only recently discovered this after retracing her adopted roots.

Marcus lived in Hong Kong from when he was a-month old until the age of 10, but he doesn't speak any Chinese - much to the disappointment of his Father - because he spent most of his education in HK in an international school.
Like nearly all my other subjects so far, Marcus is proud and happy to be half-Chinese and be 'different', even though he's often getting confused for being Polynesian or Māori (native New-Zealanders) or even part-black. He says he usually just tells people that he's full-Chinese because they won't necessarily know any better and sometimes he thinks it takes too long to explain.
He has lots of piercings and one tattoo, surprisingly he says his dad isn't too bothered by it but was 'just like any other parent' and a bit annoyed when he first saw them.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I'm finding that although both Marcus and Jamie were complete strangers that it was quite easy to shoot them because we already knew we had one thing in common and with the lack of anything else to talk about would talk about traditions and things that have happened to us because we're part-Chinese. I think when more people get involved, and I know less of the people, that the shared-experience theme will flow even better than it already is.
I'm putting a re-done version of Jamie up here because I only noticed after I'd finished that his shoulder was all faded, so here is is sans faded shoulder.
I've really got to get on top of my dissertation soon, the middle of November (draft-submission time) isn't that far away!

Martin Usborne makes me love dogs.

Doesn't matter than he is 'big' because he was in the Taylor-Wessing Portrait Prize for a serious person portrait, his photos of dogs are the best.
This is from a series called, "Life as a dog in the recession".

© Martin Usborne

His latest project, "MUTE: the silence of dogs in cars" is at theprintspace gallery from 21st October until 9th November.

© Martin Usborne via theprintspace Blog

Jamie Paul.

So, these are from my shoot today; this is Jamie Paul, his dad is 3/4s Chinese and 1/4 Portugese and was born in South America and his mum is English and was born in Gibraltar. I'm not being too picky over the not 100% half-Chinese thing as as far as he's concerned he is and being an 1/8 of something, while it contributes to something, is basically clutching at straws. He's got a really interesting background and we had a lot in common. He goes red when he drinks, something I know happens to Chinese and half-Chinese people but doesn't happen to me and he's faced a bit of casual as well as serious racism, which was really interesting to talk about.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I think my bad luck is slowly disappearing as this shoot went great and Jamie turned out to actually be a really nice guy.

Carol Vargas.

This is so awesome.

© Carol Vargas, 2010. via Mint Magazine

Carol Vargas also has an awesome series on her Flickr called 'Legs in the Air' but I like this 'Noah's Ark - Animal's Meeting' set the best because it's pretty inspiring in relation to my 'in my head' dressing up box project that I might possibly do next semester.
Although finding stuff like this just affirms the fact that creatively, I am almost completely unoriginal, even if I find the photos after my own idea.
I like her photos anyway; http://www.flickr.com/photos/carolinevargas/

I also found this at Mint Magazine, made me laugh out loud, it's kind of funny how these are just suddenly trendy, but it makes me feel mega-cool for having one this time last year and it wasn't even from kigu.co.uk, amateurs.

Both.

Here's hoping things will be better from tomorrow onwards.

Three.

So the photos of Darren weren't as bad as I thought, but they're not as good as the other two.
Here is what I have so far, I have also edited Izzy's because her face was still too over-exposed.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I think once I'm feeling a bit luckier and a bit more patient, things might start to look better.

To add to this week's list.

FFS!
Setting up the studio in my room and one of my lights suddenly doesn't work.
Ring up Elemental and am told to open up the back of the lights and look at the fuse?!
Finally prise the back open and discover a blown fuse (one good thing that comes from this is Elemental are sending me a couple of new fuses).
Text Darren to not come until 3 as I'm running to Asda to see if I can get a replacement fuse.
Darren arrives 15 minutes early anyway and waits outside in his car.
Find set of fuses for £2.
Meet Darren and excitedly go to replace the broken fuse.
The fuses I bought are too big!
Continue the shoot with one light and at an awkward angle.
Whilst packing kit away notice a small 'baggy' at the bottom of my lights back - IT'S A REPLACEMENT FUSE!
Darren has left - another slightly failed shoot.

At least the shoot will go well tomorrow.
What else can go wrong - I'm like Eeyore right now.

brb, gonna hibernate.

So far, this week has not been the best.
My lights broke at the weekend.
My shoot on Monday was rubbish.
It's costing more than I thought to print out the Gomes photos.
My replacement parts for my lights came a mere five minutes after I told one of my half-Chinese subjects to go home.
It took me nearly an hour to put in the new modelling bulb before I found out that part of the old one was still in there.
I was accidentally late for my tutorial this morning, thinking it was at 10:40 when it was actually at 10:20, my tutor was understandably pissed.
I had to send a grovelling email to the aforementioned tutor.

Swallow me up please. It's these little sod's law annoyances than make up an even bigger annoying picture.

On the plus side, I have a reshoot of Monday's shoot this afternoon (hopefully), and a shoot tomorrow and Friday, as well as one that I arranged ages ago on Sunday. I should have a decent amount of work piled up by next Monday and then maybe next week won't be so demotivating and terrible. URGH!

Darren.

Here are two terrible photos from yesterdays shoot - I am so upset, but I've asked him to come back so hopefully he will and we can do it properly as everything to do with my 'proper' lights is fixed now.
I am so annoyed both with how badly I've edited these and with how bad they looked before anyway. I've almost fallen out of love with my flashgun, in this situation nothing compares to studio lights. Plus I realise he's not even looking at me in these, which I'll fix on the next go, it was hard because it had to be dark and he's about 7 foot tall.

So, this is Darren, his dad is Malaysian-Chinese and his mum is English. He wants to get 'double eyelid' surgery with his first pay-check in five years time because he thinks his eyes will sag like his dads. He doesn't think being half-Chinese is a big deal and that going on like it is is like white people banging on about being white.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

Urgh, these are so mottled.

Super-reliable.

Today has been both hectic and lazy, I haven't really got round to doing any work, but I've been arranging a few more shoots.
One thing I can say is that half-Chinese people can be a bit useless at getting back to you when you're asking them to do something. Aside from the two people I know, everyone else who has said yes have taken until now to get back to me. I don't mind but it's a bit funny.

I cancelled a shoot today but the guy turned up anyway because he doesn't have a phone and didn't get the message through Facebook. I cancelled because of the 'lights situation' and five minutes after the guy stepped out the door to go home, the UPS van showed up with all my replacement parts. I've rearranged the shoot because I didn't want the photos to turn out like yesterdays - I did them with my flashgun and they're not cool.

Look at this cat!

This cat lives down my road in New Malden, it has a weird meow and just look at it's face. It's super friendly, I kind of like it, it has character. ♥

Oscar Night.

So here are the photos from Saturday - I've whittled the 740 down to 228, which is still too much but they have a bit of everything thrown in. I think that I'll send everything off on Thursday. It was fun and it's great that I can add it to my work experience, but it was hard work and stressful, especially when it came to my lights - ahh.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

A Night at the Oscars.

I finished taking the photos for tonights party just after midnight, it was really fun to play observer for the night, it's very strange being with such a large gathering of people, not knowing anyone but taking their photo anyway.
I enjoyed myself, maybe I didn't enjoy the 6 hours stood up, but it was a fun experience that I wouldn't mind doing again..

In the end it turned out that I didn't need to bring my studio-lights as there was too much interference and I was working too quickly anyway. Annoyingly, I messed up the modelling bulbs on the journey down - well, one on the journey down, I dropped the working one on the floor when I got home. I'm so angry with myself. I think the only circumstances I will do this again is if I'm in the area. I don't like having broken everything, especially when it's through no fault of anyones but my own. Luckily the damage is easily fixed and the flash tubes are safe.

I think I'll be able to use my external flash for the shoot I have on Monday if the replacements don't arrive by then - I was so angry, I ordered them the second I got through the door, it was hard not to let it play on my mind all evening.

But anyway, watching people dance and making them feel like celebrities isn't a bad way to spend an evening, especially when it's a paid job. I'm quite proud of myself really.
Aperture is still processing the 740 photos I took tonight, that's the next day and a half filled up then, I guess.
I think once it's done I'm going to go to bed and catch up with X Factor - it's barely halfway through yet :(
I have another busy day tomorrow, it's my mum's birthday so we're going out to lunch and after that I have to get myself back down to Portsmouth, hopefully without breaking anything else important and in time for tomorrow night's X Factor.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....

Not loving tutorials.

So, I was going to go back to New Malden after Uni today, but I didn't because today was too long and I spent a lot of it on the floor, sat on the floor, like a 4 year-old. Not on, so by the end of the day I wasn't really up for the two-and-a-half hour long journey home.

The tutorial was useful when it finally got round to me though - we started at 11 and I came around at about 4.
I've now tried to correct the colour on the deadpan portraits of Rio and Izzy, thanks to a marvellous observation by a helpful classmate - vom. I'll be fair though and say they do look a bit better now. I was picked up on my Thomas Ruff homage though, which I was a little smug about. I'm sad the colour on my print-outs was mainly to do with my printer rather than my photography. Maybe I should just be a better photographer.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

I have a few more subjects lined up and I'm starting to feel like this project actually has some legs. It might be a good idea to get a tripod out and take some portraits of myself, my light meter finally arrived today so that makes it a lot easier and faster as well.

I'm kind of annoyed that I can't spend this weekend doing work because I have a lot to write about and a lot to read, but then I am getting some proper work experience so I can't be too annoyed. It will probably be quite fun and even if my chat doesn't improve, it's a chance to practice my studio photography. Kind of wish I hadn't mentioned having my own lights though, carrying them is at the back of my mind all the time, not that the equipment's heavy, it's just big and a very awkward shape.

Blah.

My printer has run out of ink so I can't print out anything big or decent, or even anything for research. I hope my tutors don't get mad at me tomorrow, I hope that my ink comes tomorrow.

I have been accepted as a member for Young Photographers Unite, it's like a networking site for photographers to get inspiration, jobs and criticism, I'm happy I got in, but I forgot about it and now I can't remember what I wanted to do with it. I might wait for it to stop being 'beta', then I'll know what I'm dealing with, it was being a bit jippy when I was filling in stuff yesterday.

The task of taking all my studio lights home is now something I'm looking forward to.

NervyB.

I really like this photo even though it doesn't fit in with any of the others from the shoot and I know my tutors will probably hate it.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

DON'T SAY CHEESE.

© Thomas Ruff

I cannot believe Thomas Ruff was in Vice, so they're helping me with my set-brief project and my dissertation, thanks Vice.
I really like the aesthetics of his portraits and I love that he makes them massive.

#1.

Here's a sneak peak, not sure how much I want to give away on here yet, especially since it's only my first shoot. This is Izzy and Rio who I took photos of on Saturday, I know them so it was a good start but makes me a bit nervous about shooting people I don't know because I can't take them to Gunwharf and have lunch.

But I think the actual shoot went well and these are the two photos that I think fit the original 'deadpan' criteria, we tried out some other stuff; like highlighting things about their appearance that have an altered perspective because they're half-Chinese. Izzy covered up her tattoos when she visited her Chinese dad over the summer and Rio thinks one of her eyes is noticeably uneven with the other.

© Ruth Johnston 2010.

If I can do similar things with other subjects it's an idea that I'd like to fit in. I also recorded a conversation we had as well as them saying their written statements out-loud. I'm quite excited now really.

I sent an email to Kip Fulbeck and got a reply from his P.A, she linked me to a webpage that I had already visited, but at least I got a reply. I think I might just leave that.

This is harrrrd!

I am rubbish at speaking in front of anyone when I'm standing up. AND there wasn't even a reason for me to be standing up, I was just there on my own talking about something (my project) that no one has any interest in. POO!
I don't know why I am so rubbish, I have told people about it about 100 times over now.

Things to do:
Write up a brief to send to subjects to give them a better and more formal idea of the project.
- Flyers are a dumb idea because people will ignore them.

A couple of people have said, 'I know a person', so that makes things a bit easier and at least less stressful than doing it totally on my own. I also went onto a 'general' mixed race forum and posted up there. The internet makes everything seem to so dodgy, I don't want to leave my phone number everywhere but I would rather somebody rang me than emailed me saying they would do it and then back out, at least my voice sounds like a 21 year old University student just trying to get on with a project.
10am-5pm is not a fun day to do when it's in the same room the whole time, that can't be healthy.

This is Kip Fulbeck

I really must remember him because he is the same ethnic background as me and his Hapa project is the best point of reference that I have at the moment.
Why does he have to be 'American'? I wish I was in America.